Prologomena

Humbert, forgive me. You gave good warning.

We both knew a girl. But the brothers of bewitchment fail of full fraternity. You are an old-world peacock, charmer of leisure, lover of conceit. Of no exotic plumage, I favor flannel shirts, sell bargain books, nosh on instant ramen, noodle on simple guitar. You had your success, at least on your telling­ – nymphets, you really expect us to believe! And if you did dispatch a rival, you now face more lasting competition. Can you please put that gun away! 

You did seduce the reader. A wizard of words conjures away our contempt. I lack that thing – though I do have a thesis! Your fellow sufferer will also lay himself bare, at risk of the judgment. Dirty old man! If only they knew. Maybe my travails will temper the taunts? And unlike you, poet of reprobate lust, I stayed within the bounds. At least my love was legal.