CHARACTERS

Top of the bill

ANSELM, that’s me!

Featuring

ALICE, a certain young lady

Supporting cast

BILL, that girl’s belligerent father

CHRISTINE (Chris), a former wife, and continued critic!

CORTÉS, a literary luminary                      

EDDIE (Squirt), a sorry acquaintance

GLORIA, the girl’s glamorous mother

GRACE, Gloria’s good friend, and my . . . ?

IVAN (The Terrible), an alleged employee

JILL, a meritorious manager, and impressive figure!

NICK, an aspiring young scribe

RUDYARD, my best friend

SONJA, my scandalous sister

Significant others

AGATHA, my beloved

BETTY, my dear mother

CHUCK,  Jill’s jovial husband

EMIL, a wretched restaurateur

ETHAN, a shape-shifting young man

GERTRUDE (Gertie), Agatha’s successor in my heart

JACQUELINE (Jackie), a misused mistress

LUPA, the girl’s comely companion

MAGNOLIA, a colorful gallery owner

MONTY, a curious little creature

MOSHE, my romantic replacement

ROBERT, a pompous professor

(Intrigued, already? Well, you should be! And you have an invitation. See below.)